- "They're all the same. Sneakers are sneakers."
- ―Alan, on the subject of shoes.
Alan was a young man who worked as a shoe salesman. Dilbert tried to buy shoes from him, and asked which shoes were better for running. This irritated Alan, and he attempted to explain to Dilbert how all shoes were the same, but was pulled aside by his boss, who whispered something in his ear. Alan then contradicted his earlier statement, saying that the most expensive shoes were the best ones, fooling Dilbert. He did regret his actions, however.