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| Catbert |
|Portrayer:||Jason Alexander (Dilbert TV Series)|
Catbert is a red fictional cat, and the "evil director of human resources" in the Dilbert comic strip. He was supposed to be a one-time character but resonated with readers so well that Adams brought him back as the HR director. In the TV series, he works inside a medieval themed office with a wooden door and torches to both sides. He has two henchmen, who are also his door trolls.
Publication history An unnamed cat appeared in two 1992 strips as the companion of Dilbert's "perfect romantic match"; he or she strongly resembled the later Catbert design. The real Catbert, unnamed, first appeared in a series of comic strips from September 12 to 16, 1994, when he attacked Ratbert and rebooted Dilbert's computer before Dogbert finally kicked him out of the house. Reader response asked for "more Catbert," despite the cat never having been named, and Adams decided to bring him back as the "evil director" of human resources. Catbert appeared again on March 20, 1995, when Dogbert hired Catbert to handle downsizing (a process that leads to Alice and Wally running for the new org chart and colliding so hard while that they ended up wearing each other's clothes, backwards).
With the help of his "random policy generator", he comes up with sadistic, illogical, and often evil policies to enforce on the employees, such as permanently branding employees, requiring employees to schedule sick time before they actually get sick, replacing the health plan with Google, and making time spent in the bathroom count as "vacation." Catbert often abuses his rights as a human resources director by creating diminutive policies for employees. He also has the help of his "Life Suck 3000" (to suck the life force out of employees faster than normal), and his library of HR binders that give strategies on downsizing and hiring of morons specifically. He often works in tandem with the Pointy-Haired Boss. Catbert typically celebrates the creation of a new evil policy by purring loudly, hugging himself, or by doing the "evil dance."
He often abuses workers by doing things like sending Wally home for wearing shorts, even though Wally's pants reach his ankles. He also claws up employees, once batted Dilbert's head off, hid Asok the intern in his catbox, and pulled some strings to get Wally moved to a window cubicle (so as to use Wally's head as a bed to lay on while the suns rays hit Catbert, warming him).
Catbert's more cat-like traits include use of the catbox, purring, and lying on warm or sun-heated surfaces.
Some of his own strategies have been known to backfire on him, like the August 2007 strips involving making the employees wear brain monitoring helmets when he felt they were thinking about pleasant stuff and not work. Wally, naturally, was the first one whose helmet went off, and as Catbert was going over what he was thinking about, he went metaphorically "blind" over one of his thoughts, and possibly had the same thought as the PHB ("I was happier not knowing.") afterwards.
"Very evil. I purr in your general direction"
-to the phb
"You fool! I told you to blame our insurance carrier!"