| Wally |
|Portrayer:||Daniel Stern (Dilbert (TV series))|
- "My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal"
Wally is a co-worker of Dilbert and is the lazy guy in the group. He does almost no work and is paid about the same as the others. He is rich due to involvement in internet stock trading, but still comes to work because he doesn't know how to make coffee. The Pointy-Haired Boss once said that he had fired nine bald guys because he thought they were Wally. The Boss has said a few times that he would fire Wally, but there is a hiring freeze so he can't replace him and he doesn't want to shrink his empire. Wally has even received a bonus from the Boss right after he said that because the company had done well that year. It is in question if Wally is even human, as he has not died from caffeine overdose and has no fingerprint, DNA, or heartbeat. Despite being the most dependent on caffeine in the office, he stayed awake the longest in a storyline when Carol replaced all the coffee in the office with decaf. He once took "Yoda" classes, thinking they were yoga classes. He was also recruited as a door troll by Catbert in "The Merger".
Evolution of Wally
In the first two years of Dilbert, from 1989 to 1991, there were a number of characters with appearances similar to Wally's, but they only had bit parts in Dilbert's office. According to Seven Years of Highly Defective People, Wally didn't emerge until one of Scott Adams' co-workers at Pacific Bell found himself in an unusual situation: He wanted to leave the company, but by getting fired, so he could collect the large severance package that was being offered. However, since this package was only offered to the bottom 10% of workers, this created a bizzare incentive for "Wally 1.0," as Scott Adams called him, to become the worst possible employee ever.
Scott Adams loved the idea of a completely cynical employee who makes no effort to hide his laziness or his total lack of respect, and thus, Wally made his first appearance on October 21st, 1991. He has changed very little since then, both in appearance and personality (with the exception that he got a little bit thiner, as did most characters).
- "Retire? Why would I retire? All I do now is surf the internet and why should I pay for that?"
- Dilbert: "You would have made a great evil mastermind." Wally: "Eh, the hours are too long."
- '"Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee."
- Asok: "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally: "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."